Clare Bowditch ft. Golden Arrow - Found her today!
Throw me in a hurricane, tell the whole world I’ve gone insane, run an electric shot to my brain, but I ain’t gonna lose you
Ain’t gonna lose you - Brett Dennen <3
From my bedroom window.
Jean Cocteau. La Sang d’un Poète, 1930
We all start out knowing magic. We are born with whirlwinds, forest fires, and comets inside us. We are born able to sing to birds and read the clouds and see our destiny in grains of sand. But then we get the magic educated right out of our souls. We get it churched out, spanked out, washed out, and combed out. We get put on the straight and narrow and told to be responsible. Told to act our age. Told to grow up, for God’s sake. And you know why we were told that? Because the people doing the telling were afraid of our wildness and youth, and because the magic we knew made them ashamed and sad of what they’d allowed to wither in themselves.
After you go so far away from it, though, you can’t really get it back. You can have seconds of it. Just seconds of knowing and remembering. When people get weepy at movies, it’s because in that dark theater the golden pool of magic is touched, just briefly. Then they come out into the hard sun of logic and reason again and it dries up, and they’re left feeling a little heartsad and not knowing why. When a song stirs a memory, when motes of dust turning in a shaft of light takes your attention from the world, when you listen to a train passing on a track at night in the distance and wonder where it might be going, you step beyond who you are and where you are. For the briefest of instants, you have stepped into the magic realm.
But let’s at least tell the truth: I’m not leaving for a job, or for some fresh perspective, or because I always wanted to get out of this town. I’m leaving because I can’t look at you anymore without my heart breaking.
Caggie and Millie make plans to elope.
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